That people think it's ok for their kids to be rude, disrespectful, and mean to others??
I wasn't going to post this but my need to vent got the best of me. This may be a long post....
My husband and I have several sets of friends and friends of friends who have children (of course). Our own children are quite young (4 and 6) and are generally the youngest kids when we get together with friends, no matter the occasion. Can you believe I have not met a single respectful and genuinely nice kid under 10 since we moved here 3 years ago? It really blows my mind. These kids are disrespectful to their parents and most are down-right mean. Yesterday my 4-year-old son had his head forceably squashed in a door (with line marks down his cheek) by a child nearly twice as big as he is. Was that child punished or even scolded? Why no; why would she be??? Afterall, my son should not want to play with other children - yes, the reason this happened was because that girl did not want him to play in the room with all of the other children!! This same child wrote a note and posted it on the refridgerator (not her own, btw) saying that my children were not allowed to get anything out of it while she pulled various snacks out of it herself. This type of behavior is not uncommon by any means. I constantly have to protect my children from older, larger, more aggressive children - the other parents rarely get involved!
I was raised in the South, where children address adults with Mr. and Mrs., say yes and no ma'am when talked to, and don't have to be supervised around other children because they know how to handle themselves! The parents that I've met seem to be intimidated by their own children and therefore do not teach them manners of any sort.
Unfortunately, it's my own kids who are getting the short end of the stick. They share their toys and snacks with children who will not reciprocate by sharing their own. They are polite to kids who are rude, they don't hit/bite/kick back when that is what has happened to them. What a fine line to walk with my children - Honey, I need you to follow all of Mommy's rules even when another child is allowed to jump around on the furniture (not on mine, btw)/curse/make a mess/push/scream/be a menace and nobody does anything about it. I need you to be polite without being a push-over. I expect you to keep your hands to yourself until another child hits you first. That's what it's coming to with these kids that are not being taught that hitting is not ok. If the parents are not going to step in, then I'm going to allow my own children to protect themselves and stand up for them when they do.
I'm also going to start breaking one of my own rules. One of the things I was taught growing up is that you do not interfere with other people's children - but then, my parents' friends always corrected their children themselves. I guess that I'm going to have to start filling in for the other parents. I will give the other parents the opportunity to talk to their children - if that doesn't happen, I'm going to do it myself. It's likely to end some friendships, but so be it. I will no longer stand by and let my children be bullied by mean little brats. Don't get me wrong, I will not lay a hand on them but I will let them know that what they are doing will not be accepted. If they continue to act out, they will no longer be allowed to 'play' with my children or allowed over to my house. I'm sure this is going to go over like a lead balloon but I am sick to death of looking into my children's questioning faces when they are scolded for something that other kids are allowed to get away with.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Moving soon?
I hope so. We put in an offer on a house that was accepted about 2 weeks ago now. We are in escrow and things seem to be moving right along. This house was a compromise between the husband and myself - he wanted a house that was large that was very sound structurally so that he could immediately start remodeling (beautifying). I wanted a house that was large enough without being too big, with land to have the animals, trees, and garden that I would like.
The house that we are buying has about an acre and a half. It has a small pasture (maybe half an acre) that my horse will use. Because I am keeping the horse, we will not have goats - another compromise between hubby and I.
One of the first things I looked for when we went to see the house was fruit-bearing trees/bushes/vines. There are two walnut and a pomegranate. I would consider keeping the walnut trees but they don't look very healthy - several large, dead branches on each. We'll make the final call in the spring but right now it looks like they may have to be removed. I would rather have other trees than pomegranate so it may be removed as well. Wish-list trees include tangerine, apple, and nectarine. There are a few small oleander bushes that will have to go. They are nice-looking but I don't want poisonous plants on the property.
In the back yard, there is a very nice fence to grow grapes on. In a very shady corner (too shady?), I noticed some brambles growing. Not sure yet what kind they are but my guess is they are blackberry - they grow wild around here. I haven't yet figured out where to plant the blueberry bushes.
There are two rather large outbuildings, the largest of which will be used for hay, feed, etc. The other will likely be used for tools. There is even a small building that will be modified into a chicken coop. The current plan includes 4-6 hens, including Buff Orpingtons, Easter Eggers, and perhaps Black Australorps.
I'm not sure if we'll be able to keep rabbits as hubby is now acting odd about them. I would like to keep two does and a buck in an outdoor, colony-type setting. I have the perfect spot in mind if I can re-talk Chris into it - he may be wondering what our friends and neighbors will think.
There are several possible spots for the garden, but there's still a lot of time to figure that out before spring. I would like to grow heirloom tomatoes, peppers, and a few types of cowpeas next year.
I still would like to have a honey bee hive or two. Chris has agreed to build a top bar hive for me sometime this winter. I realize that we will get less honey with these hives but from what I've read, it would seem that it's healthier for the bees to build their own comb. Guess we'll find out.
That's it for now, I'll write again when there's something to talk about!
The house that we are buying has about an acre and a half. It has a small pasture (maybe half an acre) that my horse will use. Because I am keeping the horse, we will not have goats - another compromise between hubby and I.
One of the first things I looked for when we went to see the house was fruit-bearing trees/bushes/vines. There are two walnut and a pomegranate. I would consider keeping the walnut trees but they don't look very healthy - several large, dead branches on each. We'll make the final call in the spring but right now it looks like they may have to be removed. I would rather have other trees than pomegranate so it may be removed as well. Wish-list trees include tangerine, apple, and nectarine. There are a few small oleander bushes that will have to go. They are nice-looking but I don't want poisonous plants on the property.
In the back yard, there is a very nice fence to grow grapes on. In a very shady corner (too shady?), I noticed some brambles growing. Not sure yet what kind they are but my guess is they are blackberry - they grow wild around here. I haven't yet figured out where to plant the blueberry bushes.
There are two rather large outbuildings, the largest of which will be used for hay, feed, etc. The other will likely be used for tools. There is even a small building that will be modified into a chicken coop. The current plan includes 4-6 hens, including Buff Orpingtons, Easter Eggers, and perhaps Black Australorps.
I'm not sure if we'll be able to keep rabbits as hubby is now acting odd about them. I would like to keep two does and a buck in an outdoor, colony-type setting. I have the perfect spot in mind if I can re-talk Chris into it - he may be wondering what our friends and neighbors will think.
There are several possible spots for the garden, but there's still a lot of time to figure that out before spring. I would like to grow heirloom tomatoes, peppers, and a few types of cowpeas next year.
I still would like to have a honey bee hive or two. Chris has agreed to build a top bar hive for me sometime this winter. I realize that we will get less honey with these hives but from what I've read, it would seem that it's healthier for the bees to build their own comb. Guess we'll find out.
That's it for now, I'll write again when there's something to talk about!
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